Yn nsel na Digoweth (Alone not Lonely)
I am enjoying my one month stay here in Boscastle. Although on my own I am anything but lonely.
Kairos time magic is working for me. My weeks flow with consideration of the most opportune time for everything around the mixed bag weather.
Each day between sunrise and sunset I am writing and walking. A few hours spent crafting 1000-ish words at the wooden kitchen table and a few hours away from the screen in nature.
I never feel alone in nature, there is an animate energy and life everywhere.
I am finding being present with the path, the coastline and the trees every day nourishing and insightful. Walking alone my inner voice becomes audible. I’m learning new things about the way I think and feel.
Somewhere I read ‘where the eyes go is the life we live’ and it stuck with me. Walking here my eyes are constantly drawn to the trees. I love being alone with them. I wonder about their long lives, their interconnected root systems and how they ‘breathe’ like we do.
Anima Mundi is a term from antiquity and means the intrinsic connection between all living things - I have the alchemical symbol for it tattooed on my left inner forearm. Sitting and breathing with a tree is the essence of the Anima Mundi and it is a wonderful daily practice.
Lonely is a feeling when no one cares (says an internet meme). It has been a month since leaving home and you all subscribing and reading these posts shows me you care. Thank You!
I am not really going it alone here either.
The need to make bids for human connection ebbs and flows. I chat with neighbours in the village, fishermen and locals in the pub. Every morning I receive a warm welcome from Alice and Will at The Good Stuff cafe with a perfect oat milk latte.
Also, writing the past brings connection to memories, long forgotten flatmates, lovers and the vibrations of thousands of live shows from the 1990s.
It’s weird but never lonely.
Listening - 3 Years, 5 Months and 2 Days In the Life Of… Arrested Development
Reading - Kahlil Gibran on Silence, Solitude, and the Courage to Know Yourself
Eating - cooking for myself most evenings. Mostly the famous de Souza ‘can’t be stuffed cooking bacon, tomato and lettuce sandwich’
Step Count - accumulative total 285,261 (as at 9 May 2023)
Also, lovely photo of you by the way.
The locals must love having an Aussie woman whose roots originate in Cornwall in their midst.
Interesting about loneliness. I think we fail ourselves when we look to others to fill the void. I am my most lonely self when I do this. However, when I tap myself on the shoulder and look within and to nature, I feel ok again.
As a wise woman once said to me, ‘in the end, you only have yourself’.